When Murderz Happen

I can't believe this never occured to any of us before. This blog will be dedicated to the sad, sorry state of affairs that take place during our travels to Lord knows where - usually, sadly, Middle America.

So Jen & I are here in our Marriott in Middle America about to have a steak with our cocktails. Since we landed we have been pondering this - when does murder happen in Murderha? Apparently it's been a banner month for the killaz around here. This is what we know:

1. The DO NOT happen at Fun.

2. They do happen at the 49er. (I have to qualify this statement. The local we spoke with indicated that they DO NOT happen at the 49er. But you CAN get a lap dance from a fully clothed woman wearing a Wranglers and legwarmers. And flannel shirt. In the summer. For three dollars.)

3. They happen at 3am. (We know this because we were told by the locals. That's when the unsavory characters are lurking about. Like the streetwalkers. )

4. They happen when it's hot.

5. When they are making the meth.

6. They DO NOT happen at gas stations by the airport. But you CAN score a joint from the 17 year olds working the counter.

7. They DO NOT happen at the Party Bar, but there may be some swapping of the hi-five.

8. They do happen in the Porn Repository.

This is what we know so far. We will let you know if we identify any more opportunity. It's out there.

I can feel it coming in the air tonight....

Ok, that was just bad.